For those of you who don't speak "Heat-ian"....

After an amazing comeback... or an amazing collapse... the most fun comes in the post-game interview.  First of all, if they're supposed to be the "Big 3" or the "Super Friends" or the "Heatles"... why do LeBron and Wade make Bosh take on the media himself?  Some friends....


Here are some translations for those of you who don't speak the ancient language of front-runner.. also known as "Heat-ian."  


Let's start with Coach Spoelstra: 

--When asked about the offense during the 22-5 run by Dallas to end the game:

"We went to our normal package of late-game sets, we just didn't have the necessary execution" 

• Translation:  "We didn't make the photo-op shots that we've been making that have gotten us this far"

"Offensively, if we could have executed and moved the ball, we might have been able to stem the tide a little bit, even as poor as we were defensively down the stretch."

• Translation:  "I really thought LeBron and Dwayne were going to make those fade-away threes.  That's what they told me at least."

--When asked about the foul to give on the last possession

"It's easy to say it right now. You know, we're aware of it. We talked about it. We've been in that situation before. We didn't use the foul. Obviously, it looks like right now you could second-guess that, but we didn't take it."

• Translation:  "We didn't talk about it.  We were still talking about how awesome Mario's shot was on the play before."

--On why they didn't double team Dirk on the last play

"At that time, they had carved us up enough on that, we left open some shooters, and they made us pay. We tried to do it with our normal defense. He made a heck of a drive. We cut him off one time, he spun, our help defense came, and he made a high-arcing lay-up, I believe with his left hand. "

• Translation:  "You mean a 3-pointer is a lower percentage shot than a lay-up?  Seriously?"

--On why he decided to have Bosh guard Dirk on the last play

"I'll have to look. We went to our normal package of late-game sets. We just didn't have the necessary execution."

• Translation:  "No comment"

"Yeah, that's a tough one, also. I know UD probably is really wishing he had that opportunity to defend him. He had gotten a couple over the top, and the end of the game running it all the way down to the clock, could have gone with either guy. Both guys are good defender."

• Translation:  "Yeah, that's a tough one.  Haslem is a good defender, and Bosh has never defended anyone.  I looked at Bosh, and I saw a dinosaur, and I figured German's don't like dinosaurs much, so I wanted to go prehistoric on him.  Oh yeah, and Bosh sucks on defense... oops."

Speaking of Chris Bosh...:

--On if there was any shock from what happened at the end of the 4th:

"We just didn't execute down the stretch.  There's no shock. There's disappointment. But the reality is the r

eality. We might as well get used to it and focus on the next one."

• Translation:  "Did the game just end?  I thought it was over like an hour ago.  Shit."

--On what happened on the last play

"Well, I mean, he does a move that he always does. You know, he uses his body well. I got caught up in trying to cut off his drive, and that's what he wanted. You know, for a split-second I just played bad defense. You know, it cost us two points."

• Translation:  "I mean, he does what he always does, which is beat me off the dribble.  He moves really slow, so it's amazing that I could stay in front of him.  I should have remember what he always does and not let him spin back left.  You know, for a split-second, I thought I made a name for myself on defense... turns out I still suck on defense.  And then we lost.... DON'T TOUCH MY EGGS!"

--On if the Heat "exhaled" when they were up by 15

"I mean, not really. We're not really guys that really exhale much. We just we didn't execute down the stretch. I don't really know what happened. We had everything going. We had the momentum going."

• Translation:  "Have you seen how big our heads our?  Do you really think we exhale?  Ever?  I don't know what happened, I had 12 points, what do you think I was doing?  I was watching LeBron and Dwayne dribble for 20 seconds.  I TOLD YOU, STAY AWAY FROM MY EGGS!"

--Asked again on his defense on Dirk

"The strategies that we've always been doing. I just tried to stay between him and the basket. He gave me a quick move, and at that point I didn't feel that I had leverage for the foul, because he was going into a shooting motion. Like I say, it was just all bad defense for me"

• Translation:  "I was shocked when coach went against our strategy we had been using the whole game.  I hadn't guarded Dirk all game.  We had doubled him the whole game.  I guess he was confused and thought I was really a dinosaur.  I told him I'm not, but he don't believe me.  We had a foul to give?  I had no idea, or I might have fouled him.... Like I said, I suck on defense.  RRRRAAAHHHH (Bosh attacks a reporter for touching his eggs.. dinosaur eggs).

What did the Big Two think about the game?

--On if they started their celebration too early (after Wade's 3-pointer in front of Dallas' bench)
LeBron James:  "It was no celebration at all. I was excited about the fact that he hit a big shot, and we went up 15. The same thing we've done over the course of the season. There was no celebration at all. We knew we had seven minutes to go still to close out the game."

• Translation: "Oh you mean the shadow boxing?  Yeah, I'm training for the off-season since there's going to be a lock-out.  I figured shadow boxing Dwayne might get me some recognition.  Maybe it was bad timing to do that, I've never had a problem with timing before..... What do you think it was, idiot?"

Wade added: "A celebration is confetti, champagne bottles......Don't make nothing out of that celebration, like you guys did in the Boston series. It's just being excited about the moment. It had nothing to do with the outcome of the game for us. Like you said, defensively we had breakdowns. They made great shots. They made a lot of shots. They're a great team. But we had a lot of breakdowns."

• Translation: "I just thought I was helping LeBron with his sparring.  When I celebrate, you know it.  I just thought that shot was sweet, I mean, did you see it?  I was fading away in the corner.. oh man, that was dope.  And then I saw the Dallas bench, and I wanted to let them know how awesome I am, so I stood there.  No, it wasn't a celebration, it was showboating... there's a difference, dick."

--On how the last 8 minutes of the fourth quarter panned out


Dwayne Wade:  "So we didn't have to score another point to win the game. Our defense was what we lay our heads on. We didn't play it the way we normally play. They deserved it. And we didn't."

• "Well when Dallas took that time-out after my three, I bet LeBron I could take more fade-away threes.. and he said 'You mean make?' and I said "No!"  So we just started jackin' up threes.  Do you know who won?  Where's that stat at?  Hey, 'Bron.. you owe me fifty bucks!"

--On the last play of the game


Dwayne Wade: "We knew coming out we had a foul to give. We knew we didn't have no time-outs. It was a mental breakdown on us. We'll take it. We all said in the huddle, our coaches said it. Sometimes when you're in the moment -- Dirk made a great move to get a little step on Chris. Obviously if we can go back and do it, we would have grabbed him before he could get up. But we didn't do that. We did know about it. Just a mental breakdown."

• "I told Spo that 'Bron shoulda guarded him.  I told him we had a foul to give.  But they were too busy talking about how awesome Mario's shot was... it was pretty sweet wasn't it?  Man, Chris sucks on defense... have any of you seen his eggs?  Next time, Chris won't be guarding Dirk... believe that."

--On how the series has changed


Dwayne Wade: "We made it a lot harder on ourself."

• Translation: "Man... where's my confetti?  I told ya'll I wanted confetti when we win game 2.  Oh, we didn't win.... shit... Stern said we wouldn't lose...oops."

LeBron James:  "It's a different mindset, of course. It's a ballgame now (because they weren't trying before this?). With the series tied 1-1, we're looking forward to the challenge."

• Translation:  "Remember when I said I wanted teammates that didn't die in the moment?  I kind of look like an ass now don't I?  How many points did I have in the 4th?  Oh, 0?  Yeah... I definitely look like an ass."

And one glorious quote from Ze German:


Dirk Nowitzki:  "We're a veteran team and we don't get too high with the highs and too low with the lows."

• Translation:  "We don't celebrate before we actually wins something.... jackasses."